i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
