I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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