Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize