once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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