yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
