dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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