i permit you to call me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
