Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
