how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
