I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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