so explain again why im purple
no
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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