He disabled his match.com account in front of me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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