i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This house was built for laser tag.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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