im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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