Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
