Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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