So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
