I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
