i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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