If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
