I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
