Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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