Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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