C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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