i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My vagina is officially offended.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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