I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
