he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
