i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
