Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
