will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I could fuck to npr.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
