i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
