Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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