I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
