ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
