Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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