Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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