Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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