i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
