dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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