She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
