I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
