I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
