how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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