we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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