The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
