y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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