Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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