im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
