he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I said "one day" and that day is not today
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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