come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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