i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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