Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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