you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
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