I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
