their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
