You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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