when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
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