O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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